Supporting children through family changes When families change because of separation or divorce it can be a difficult and confusing time for everyone, but especially for children. Young people may struggle to come to terms with the changes. They’ll probably have lots of questions and may feel lots of emotions that they find difficult to express.
Children need to feel safe, supported and heard during this time. The right support will help children to feel safer, more confident and better able to cope with change and uncertainty.
The videos below have been developed especially for children to help them understand family justice processes like separation, mediation and the family courts. There are also services that can provide help and support so that no child or grown up has to go through this difficult journey alone.
It can be pretty confusing when your parents are separating. There are lots of new words and changes happening around you. Lots of families go through it though, and they all find their own way through, so just know you’re not in it alone. If you’ve any questions, don’t be afraid to ask someone around you for help. If you’re not feeling good, you can always reach out to Childline to talk. https://Childline.ie
One of the biggest changes that might happen is where you live and who you live with. It might feel scary at first but after a while, you’ll settle into a new routine. There are lots of different ways it could work. You might stay living in the same place, but one of your parents could move out. Or you might move to a new home but with just one of your parents. Your parents could even stay living in the same place for a while. If you’re not feeling good, you can always reach out to Childline to talk. https://Childline.ie 1800 66 66 66
So if your parents don’t live together anymore, do you still get to see them both? Simply put, yes, you have a right to see both your parents. But when and how you see them will probably change. It comes down to something called ‘custody’. This basically refers to who you (and your brothers or sisters, if you have any) live with. One parent could have custody, or your parents could ‘share custody’, which means you spend some days living with one, and the rest living with the other. If one of your parents has custody, you will probably have specific times when you get to see your other parent. CUSTODY refers to who you live with most of the time. ACCESS: The parent you don’t live with can have ‘access’ which means specific times you spend with them. GUARDIANSHIP is when an adult who isn’t your parent is responsible for looking after you and making big decisions for you. If you’re not feeling good, you can always reach out to Childline to talk. https://Childline.ie 1800 66 66 66
This whole system is here to make sure you’re taken care of. So it’s important you get to have your say too. If your parents do go through mediation or family court, you might get the chance to talk to someone about what you would like to happen. You can be totally honest with this person, they’re there to listen to you. They’ll write a report called a ‘Voice of the Child Report’ and give that to the mediator or judge to make sure they understand your side of things when they’re making their decision. If you’re not feeling good, you can always reach out to Childline to talk. https://Childline.ie 1800 66 66 66
Understanding what happens in court can be difficult.
Your home is supposed to be somewhere you feel safe. If someone has done something that hurt or scared you, or someone else in your family, it’s the court’s job to help. The judge can give the person who has done something wrong a ‘Domestic Violence Order’. It might tell the person to stop hurting or scaring people or tell them to stop living with or seeing you or your other family members. It’s there to help keep you and your family safe. It’s important you remember that you’ve done nothing wrong, and if you ever feel unsafe make sure you let an adult around you know. If you’re not feeling good, you can always reach out to Childline to talk. https://Childline.ie 1800 66 66 66
Visit https://gov.ie/FamilyChanges If you’re not feeling good, you can always reach out to Childline to talk. https://Childline.ie 1800 66 66 66
It can be difficult if your parents are separating, it can feel like your whole world is changing. But just know you’re not on your own, and there are lots of people around who can help. You can always talk to people you trust, like your parents, family members, friends, even your teachers. But if you’d prefer to talk to someone you don’t know, just ask to talk to a counsellor. It can also help to talk to other kids whose parents are separating. Rainbows run support groups for children all over Ireland where you can meet other kids going through something similar. Just ask an adult to find a Rainbows group near you, or go to https://Rainbowsireland.ie There’s always Childline, too. They’re a free service where you can talk to someone about anything you need to. It’s anonymous, which means they won’t tell anyone you called or what you spoke to them about. Just go to https://Childline.ie or call 1800 66 66 66
You can download a printable version of the video information from the pdf below.
| child_friendly_family_justice.pdf |
Information downloaded from www.gov.ie/en/department-of-justice-home-affairs-and-migration/campaigns/supporting-children-through-family-changes/ Sept 2026